Brian McKnight's "How To Make Your Pussy Work"

Sir, the slander is upon you. In cased you missed it last night, Brian McKnight resurrected six feet from the rhythm & blues graveyard like hologram Tupac to release a preview of his "adult mix tape". These words came from his mouth. It was extremely vulgar, blunt, and educational? "let me show you how your pussy works" is chorus to this embarrassment. I'm guessing women need a 42 year old singer, musically show them how to utilize their vaginas. He gets right to the point with confidence almost like he predicted a Grammy or at least an Ozone Award. I'm not completely opposed towards the idea, but he needs better lyrics. He should just go along with it because the media will exploit this and bad publicity is still publicity right?




His r&b peers poked fun at the manner on Twitter. I mean F-list celebrities with glass houses like Eric Benet "I need more twitter followers, I think I'll write a Brian McKnight type romantic gynecology mix tape" Same dude who repeatedly cheated on Halle Berry. Who told this faggot he could speak publicly again?

Also Teairra Mari commented "Let Me Show You How Your Pu**Y Works" Brian McKnight REALLLY??? LOL" Ho.......you need a Sponsor and you ain't had no daddy around when you was growing up. Keep them little rocks for yourself.

Haha I'm just talking shit, later days...

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Metta World Peace Apologizes...Again

I don't know what you see here but I see the face of a champion...

That is the face of Martin Luther King Jr. This is the face of humility. That is the face of a baby eater. What NBA player you know has the hunger of a baby eater? Yeah, we waited. They make this man seem like a thug or a loose cannon. I think he's very sensitive and mentally sane. Here's footage of James Harden getting in Metta's way last night.

 

To me it looked like a preemptive strike. James Harden was tapping him on his back and he counterattacked with the people's elbow just like self defense class teaches you to do. David Stern enforced the "don't touch Metta while he's celebrating" rule last year and I guess James forgot. We only get to see Metta score like once every leap year so let him relish in the moment!

In James Soften's defense, Metta World Peace was supposed to endure those love taps because he promotes peace. So he apologized right after killing James Harden's family.

James Harden wasn't available for comments on the situation, we believe he's still in the arena. Reports from the chief of police says "if he doesn't get up soon, we're going to have to outline him with chalk".  

This situation was right after Metta apologized for 9/11. Remember the notorious baby eater has full immunity so can we just leave him alone please? 

Thank You.

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Do You Believe In Hell?

Yesterday, I had the best conversation of my life with my christian friend who's name will remain anonymous. Somewhere in between this conversation, Hell was brought up. You would think such a general word would have a more intellectual term but it's "heaven and hell" like your parents always taught you. I'm knowledgeable on the basics about other religions but what I grew up learning about was Christianity (what the majority of the religious nuts believes in).  I decided to debunk this "religion". The quotation marks are because he claims it's not a religion but we're not going to go there today.

I digress, I searched images of Hell in the search engine and people, as in living human beings seem to have a great distinction of what it looks like. We all have this ideal image programmed into our minds that it looks like a bottomless pit with hot lava, corroded land, demons, and the devil with a pitch fork. Assuming Hell is even real, how would one know how that place looks? Is it on google maps? Can we visit for vacation? Is it Haiti? People don't even know. It could be a great place for all we know.

"the bible quotes that heaven and hell are separated by a gulf and they can see each other." says my friend. He also preached that some guy (i forgot who) reports from hell in the bible and never does it say he wants out. So do we actually even know if it's bad or good or our brain power can't comprehend it? You're in a flaming pit for eternal torment but it's cool, you chillin?

He also claims that the reason bad things are happening in the Earth is because the devil is the ruler right now. I ask, how does one get impeached from ruler of the Earth? Did God pull an Andrew Jackson? I'm not a good storyteller so I only remember bits and pieces but I believe he gave him earth because we were all fucking up. I'm not sure if that's true but any scenario wouldn't make a lick of sense. Supposedly, GOD is supposed to make a Madonna comeback and make Earth paradise again. ZzzZZzz. With that being said, that would mean earth was once upon a time proclaimed "paradise". Now when you think of paradise you think of LL Cool J with his shirt off by a waterfall right? That looks wonderful but that shit sounds erroneous.

Lets get into some facts here. Back when history wasn't recorded in fairy tales, and was factually recorded, Christianity wasn't always taught. World history proves humans believed in pleasing mythical gods by waging war and human sacrifice. Christianity wasn't brought up until 100's of years later. Now I ask because the first 3 commandments mentions if you don't suck the dick of GOD, it is sin and you will go to hell. Minus the sacrilegious assclowns who killed all of those people, but the housewives, the children, the laborers who lived righteous and had no clue of Christianity because there was no obtainable knowledge, did they go to hell? He replied yes with confidence and our conservation did a complete 180. So even in modern day, ALL of those other people including atheists, scientologists, mormons, muslims, will go to hell too? He tried to clean it up but c'mon, you're telling me everybody (including me) is to hell with a look of certitude.

He uses this analogy "It's like if you were on crack and me knowing that is bad, what do you think I'm going to say? I'm going to recommend that you stop doing it because it's bad" I thought it was funny how to compared crack to atheism. Here's my example of GOD.

Remember this arrogant prick Zerksis from 300? He reminds me of GOD. He offered Leonidas similar comfortable values as my friend said Jesus or GOD offers, but you must worship me and bow on your knees!!! You can't tell me that's not GOD in a nutshell.

GAY RIGHTS

I'm not carrying a torch for homosexuals but I am pro gay rights. There is no way there should be laws preventing gay couples to get married by state. It's despicable to see a presidential candidate having the testicular fortitude to stand at a podium and campaign anti remarks toward gay people. What does somebody sexual preference have to do with you getting jobs in America? You're running for President, with a trillion dollar deficit and we're this close to WWIII with Korea but you preach anti gay marriage?

That's one thing I hate about Christianity and religion and I ask him his thoughts on it. "Not into politics and I don't care about gays but I do think they should get married in another way" That's his long response shorten. What do you mean in another way? Like when blacks have to take a shit, they should use different toilets because you don't want the noncolored toliet tainted? Nobody seems to realize it's 2012 and segregation was 60 years. It's the same thing. Just because you're a "traditionalist" doesn't mean gays have to follow your order. If America stayed traditional, the Bill Of Rights would have never been written. Slavery would still be in full effect so don't give me that bullshit.

I'm not totally irreverent, I have the utmost respect for my white friend BUT I don't agree. He offered audiotapes and books even though I'm still on the fence, and I don't see myself converting into Christianity or any religion. Truthfully speaking, there are lots of religion in the world and what makes you so sure yours is the right one. What you believe in depends on the birth lottery. You could of been born in Iran and believed in Muhammad, not Christianity.

Think about what you're preaching kids. They're all frightened because you brainwashed them into believing they will go to hell if they do something wrong. "Free will" is what they preach and I agree with that advantage. I'm a free thinker, my mind is free and it gets depressing at times but it's better than being delusional. Secular people don't need quotes out of a fable to have morals and principles. I will not read the bible because it advocates prejudice, cruelty, superstition, and murder, but I will to debunk it from a knowledgeable perspective. Some so-called "christian" said I might not be smart enough to understand the passages in the bible. How christian-like.

Do I know if hell is real or not? No but neither do you. Based off science, there are too many dynamics in Christianity that are relied off faith and that's not vigorous enough for me.

Like my role model Bill Maher would say, "I'm preaching I don't know, not certainty" They're so sure of what will happen in the afterlife but nobody have the sightliest clue on what the fuck is going on currently on earth. I urge all doubters to be free thinks and come out of the closet about your beliefs. Some people just don't care how impossible our existence is. It's more enlightening if you do some research and talk about it more. At the end of the day, I make my own path and I'm taking the risk (not a risk) of being hell bound because I don't believe in it until it's factual. Do not be afraid of hell.

Thank you for reading.  

 

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#NoFilter Instagram, You Fucking Up

Son, have you seen anybody this hurt on Instagram before the Android app?

Now that the Android users have Instagram, it's super popular now more than ever. These filters can make the ugliest bitches look decent. For instance...

Not only has Instagram started an epidemic but a flawed trend called #NoFilter. The immediate substitute for #NoMakeup.

They post shit like this on social networks and say #NoFilter like they look great without it. Look closely at her hairline. Either the FCC censored it, or she attempted to photoshop the horrendous-ness.

Most of these super confident bitches need makeup and filters. Not to mention liposuction, wii fits, and Jane Fonda workout tapes. Fasting is what I'm trying to say.

Come on son, look at this bitch feet. "I did my own toes toes" bitch smh

Okay, now we're just being mean................LMFAO BWAHAHAHA 

Let's not forget the pioneer of dirty android users who uploaded a iron..."this what y'all be doing nshit?"

Instagram is no longer sacred. It has been infected by a lethal injection of poverty. 

Follow nwir on Instagram. His whole portfolio is smeared in struggle. OMAR COMING!

Later Days...

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What's The Best Kanye West Album?

Since I'm in a hip-hop mood at the moment, I would like to talk my shit again. Can I talk my shit again? The world knows I will forever be a die hard fan of Kanye West. I followed his every rap move since his feature on Blueprint 2. If you read some of my posts, you would know I like to put an end to on-going debates. How do you choose which Kanye album is the best? You ask me that's how! I squandered some mula even when I couldn't afford to and bought every album so I think my opinion matters, and you don't have the answers Sway. From the worst to the best, lets begin people.

Yeezus 2013














What's worse than a really bad album? A really bad album with a really bad CD cover. Every credible critic website placed this album on a pedestal among the musical gods we worshiped in 2013 even when the majority of listeners fucking hated this project. #3 of my list of reasons why I can never be a critic. How can anybody like this piece of garbage when the first track on this album is 'ON SIGHT!'. Kanye probably spent 9800 hours on this song and I'm confused on why he thought this god awful track was worthy of an intro, better yet, placement on the album at all. The list of shitty songs go on, but Kanye did had a few tracks I liked. Nevertheless, the only tracks that are worth mentioning is 'New Slaves, Blood On The Leaves, and Bound 2'. Next slide!

808s & Heartbreak 2008

 I don't get involved into celebrity's personal lives (LIE!) and I don't think we needed to hear a whole album about his breakup with 'such and such'. Before you start throwing rocks, let me just say I liked this album, but there were songs on here that I still haven't listened to more than 30 seconds of. Years ago, I watched of music video of one of these songs and Kanye cut something out of his body. Count me the fuck in for weird shit all day nigga but sometimes you have to go "WHAT THE FUCK"! Somebody was ego trippin' a little too much and therefore, you get a decent to garbage juice album.

Graduation 2007



Graduation might have been Kanye's greatest accomplishment but not his best album, sorry. I almost feel like this album was too soft even for him. All off the Japanese illustrations were pretty lame and it's just Kanye's self absorbed ass not caring what I think. We all pretended that Big Brother song was the SHITTT! and it really wasn't.

On the upside, Kanye put his backpack on and created a bunch of critically acclaimed records. 50 Cent and Kanye began a competition once record sales started tanking to see who could sell the most albums first week (which he ended up winning and leaving 50's career in shambles). Kanye sold more and unfortunately, 50 did not retire. Can't Tell Me Nothing was really foot in ass solidifying his mark in the game. This album is debatable with 808's, but if I was stranded on a island and I had to choose between the two to listen to for the rest of my life, it would be this one.

Watch The Throne 2011

What's better than two of the richest rappers relishing in extravagance? Three other Kanye albums. Watch The Throne was a hodgepodge of Kanye pitching beats to Jay to find which one is sounds suited for. Jay-Z doesn't sound like he wanted to be one half of these tracks. Every track that Jay liked, he made Kanye chill. It's almost like they live in two different worlds and the only way that they have chemistry is talking about money. All criticism aside, more than half of this album is great. A bad Jay-Z/Kanye song is still better than anything they play on the radio nowadays.    

Late Registration 2005



I swear to god I just figured out that the song 'Late' was purposely placed at the end of the album for conceptual reasons. It's really the intro, but he's late...you get it. That along makes the album dope.

Back when Kanye was still using the bear mascot, and shit, he dropped one of the best albums of my natural life. Not until Gold Digger dropped I was finally convinced that I wanted this album. One of my favorite videos and features of Jamie Foxx singing Ray Charles vocals was amazing. Hearing that Kanye doesn't even like the song bothers me but what are you going do? I skipped school to go buy this album and I remember listening to it and Roses, Bring Me Down, Addiction, We Major, and the song with Cam'ron & Consequence Gone, immediately became my favorite songs. Next slide please.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy 2010



Going into this apprehensive because all of the Illumanti talk, I was pessimistic. The album was surprisingly good. Like superb, outstanding, spellbinding. Kanye showed off his artsy side this time around and once again, I'm so appalled. Only Kanye knows why he makes videos about weird peculiar things, the don't ask don't tell rule applies. I bought the deluxe edition with the Runaway movie and dude, no comment. We already knew Kanye was a bad actor thanks to his 2 minute part in Entourage, now he's a bad director as well.

Like I said, the album is great though. Straight play through, no skips. It's unlikely for an artist of his caliber with high expectations to make a classic on his 5th studio album. With songs like All Of The Lights, The Blame Game, Gorgeous, Runaway it shows he still has that backpack on his back and music notes still run in his veins. I sometimes go back and forth on whether this is his best album or not.

College Dropout 2003



I will not scrutinize this masterpiece what so ever. Do not bring up The Workout Plan or School Spirit because I will defend them with honor. Okay, the Workout Plan video was a little absurd and School Spirit sucked but dammit lets count our blessings here. Hip-hop was taken over by the south and you couldn't get a song on the radio unless you were Jay-Z, Eminem or made a song degrading women with fat asses. Kanye West arrived in Louis Vuitton backpack and a mascot. What rapper you know has a mascot? He had Jesus Walks playing on the radio and coming from an atheist, I fucking loved that song! I knew every word to All Falls Down and Through The Wire was one of those feel good empathy songs that I will always love. Slow Jamz, Spaceship, Breathe In Out Breathe Out, Get Em' High, Never Let Me Down, OMG! I feel like a white groupie girl just talking about it. To contest this with any of his albums is idiotic. I remember opening up his cd in my grandmother's basement and listening to We Don't Care for the first time, that's hip-hop. Reciting every word (even the monologue) to Last Call, that's hip hop. A lot of things I will always forget but never the time when I felt it was ok to be different. And for that I thank you Kanye West for your best and my favorite album, College Dropout.

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Featured Artist Of The Week x LUX PACK

http://luxpack.bandcamp.com




Yo, I've been following @jesusxdon on twitter for a minute now. Not only because he's a real hip-hip head but he's simultaneously a good rapper. He's not the ordinary "twitter rapper" -- categorizing him to that label would be an insult. Him and two other rappers create LUX PACK and they're revitalizing underground hip-hip with every single and EP they drop.

Je$us, Mialo, and Megaman are the member's name and the production from Ganjatechi coordinate so well. The beats sound like oldschool rap. Not the Kurtis Blow b-ball joint, but like the Tribe Called Quest era. The tracks are sometimes metabolized with skits from your favorite hood movie although they don't rap like 2 Chainz and every other repetitive rapper that's relevant in the game. It's hard to compare because I can't like of anybody that's comparable at such young ages.

Their album art is "take time out my precious life just to upload them on the iTunes" worthy. Seems like it has a Kanye Good Fridays inspiration to it. Mialo definitely gets points for the Cowboy Bebop ep.

 

Some of them include beautiful looking women holding weapons. I would let her shoot me in the face.



According to their bandcamp account, they created these songs in the past (like 88-93 probably before they were born) and the release date says something like 2030. It shows what time frame their music is relative to and I think that's fucking awesome.



Most of their tracks have no hooks but you don't really need to hear a catchy loop to keep your mind from wandering off into outer space because the lyrics are right there. With the right promotion, I see them being apart of the game. I'm currently trying to get this shit on CD so I can play it in my car. I highly recommend listening to Luxstory Ep (posted at the top). It's one of my favorites. I normally don't do this (and I know people say that all the time) but I seriously fuck with LUX PACK.

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2Pac Coachella 2012 Performance

In case you missed it last night, 2pac arose from the dead to perform at Coachella with the prolific pot smoker Snoop Dogg. Maybe that 7 day theory was true! Ok maybe it was just a hologram. Either way #TupacBack

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The Cabin In The Woods Spoiler

...back on my movie shit!

On Friday night, I took time out of my very prescious life span to see The Cabin In The Woods without any prior knowledge of it (I just didn't want to pay money to see American Reunion). On the movie poster it reads in fine print "from the writers of Cloverfield" and people know I love Cloverfield! So this movie had me at hello.. 

WARNING SPOILER ALERT!!! This is NOT like Cabin Fever (another movie I love) just in case the trailer gave you that incentive. The Cabin In The Woods is as simplistic as the movie title -- but wait, it gets complicated. It's so intricate, I have to give it away. 

In the opening sequence, there's Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford working in a laboratory kind of place and just when you think this movie is just a horror, these bastards pull jokes out of their ass. Subsequently after the hints and mystery was thrown into the equation, they put the camera on a 5 pack of teenagers and all of a sudden, it's set up into your least favorite scary movie. It starts off with this red headed chick prancing around her open window in her panties and I go "Yeah, I'm a MAN and I really like this part" She's super excited about this trip to a cabin but at the same time sad about a breakup between her and her teacher. That's totally gross and I deducted 50 points. All the characters start to enroll and indulge into typical scary movie personas. The whore, the athlete, the guy who always says some thought provoking funny shit, the cool scholar handsome looking mysterious fellow, and the single chick who finds him attractive who usually plays the lead.

 So moving along, they're riding in this RV van and what happens next?! They make a pit stop for gas at the creepiest fucking gas station ever. It looks deserted but here's the twist, it's not. There's a creepy guy in there who has some shit to say about you trespassing. No this is not the Texas Chainsaw Massacre let me finish. Meanwhile, the scientists in the lab give away that this is all being controlled by them. 

[fast forward] Okay they're in a cabin and we realize all these characters are either dumb or being controlled by the eccentric mist coming from the vents and the ground. I say heads and tails. The dead awakens and these people ignore every single rule from Zombieland. Wait, let's not forget that the guy who plays Thor (Chris Hemmsworth) and the whore go fucking in the woods and she shows her tits. This was anticipated by me in the opening credits and everybody in the lab which is a funny scene.  I digress, the summoned zombies kill these poor teens one by one. I can not iterate how much the sensitive love interest guy was so emotionally lame throughout the scooby doo chase. EVERYBODY IS DYING! CAN YOU GIVE US SOME KIND OF INDICATION THAT YOU ARE NOT A ROBOT?

They all die stupidly easy except two of them including one of the guys who was LEFT without even asking about his whereabouts (very stupid part). Together they kill the zombies and debunk this laboratory place and find that they were human sacrifices for evil gods. In order to keep the gods from killing everybody on earth, these people must die according to plan. The last 30 minutes is worth watching the crappy horror movie rendition. In order to like this movie, you would have to like all of the things that make nightmares and other horror movies scary because all of that fiery was unleashed. To summarize this movie in a run on sentence, it was a remake of a crappy old horror movie about staged deaths engineered by scientists and viewed by evil gods who get off seeing humans die strategically in a cabin and everybody eventually die because they sent one guy to kill two people. ...shoulder shrug? I don't know. There were too many holes that I didn't fill but I'll leave that up to you. 

I didn't hate it but I'm not going to rate it, but considered this movie, spoiled. Your welcome...

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The Soundtrack To My Life

Ever hear a song that made you feel like there was somebody out there other than you? In no specific order (in order, not in order) I put together some random number of songs that best describe me in a nutshell. This is the soundtrack of my life.

Simple Plan - Welcome To My Life 

Some years back, I had this weird thing for rock bands and MTV. In the mist of that, I came across this song called Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan. I literally jumped back and turned the tv off because I was shocked that every lyric in this song was about me. I had to be like 13 or 14, misunderstood just like your average teenager -- didn't realize a lot of us do scream in our rooms with the radio up. 

Joe Budden - Stained

Unlike a lot of Budden fans, I was there for the Pump It Up era with the spray painted white tee and bandanna. I'm not a real solider though, I did bail once Jay-Z put a brake on his career. I don't know what year it was but I remember being on mixfiend.com (when we had to download torrents instead of zip files) and saw this mixtape. I was aware of the first one but mixtapes weren't easily obtainable then. The reason why I'm over explaining this is because Mood Muzik 2 was a milestone in my life. It wouldn't be fair if I put like 10 Budden songs on this list but the dude is real, believe me. One song that did stand out was Stained and around this age, I was hip hop to the fullest. Bummy, dirty, low class, pretentious whatever, Budden know all about that shit in this song.   

Robin Thicke - Cry No More

Here's another artist who I can add multiple songs on the list and it would be completely unfair, the talented Robin Thicke. I told myself I wasn't going to post this one but I don't care. I'm already lightskin, people should know I cry often (not anymore though). There was a time period where I was going through adversity with my family, money, life, girls, school, everything and nothing was going right. This song and others helped me get through a lot. It would seem like me and Robin are identical besides all of the musical talent, the gorgeous wife, the caucasian background, and the relation to Alan Thicke. Cry No More was the ending to all my sorrows. The best help always comes from somebody who knows how you feel.

Jay-Z & Beanie Sigel - Where Have You Been

I remember in the 5th grade me and my classmate found a Juvenile cassette tape and a Jay-Z one. At the time, the Hot Boyz were way hotter than Jay-Z to me and I guess him too because we fought over the Juvenile joint. Of course I ended up losing but the same time I won because I was introduced to hip hop the first time. Just owning a piece of this classic album was special to me. I remember listening to side B track 15 all the time. Where Have You Been discusses the agony of being fatherless in such a poor environment which is relative. Beans verse is so passionate and I could never fully understand that until I got older of how much a different my life would of been if my father was around. No matter what though, music was already there for me.

Eminem - 8 Mile Road

Funny story, I remember when my mother bought me and my brother Eminem's album "The Marshall Mathers LP" and Will Smith's "Willenium" in the year 2000. The complete polar opposite and she had absolutely no idea how vulgar and crazy Eminem was. He made a 6 minute song on that album about killing his wife and us 10-11 year olds knew every fucking word to that song. Now that Eminem is introduced, I indulged and is now a Stan. When 8 Mile the movie came out, he dropped an awesome Oscar winning soundtrack to go along with it. The song "8 Mile Road" was essentially everything that was in my head at the time. I wanted to be rapper, turn my back on Detroit and never come back. This will forever be my favorite rap song period, no debate. 

These are all of the songs I could think of right now. If I think of some more shit, I do plan on part 2'ing it and wasting your valued time. Til then...

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My Weird Phobias

Inspired by holidays like Easter and other family meet-and-greet holidays, I decided to shed light on why I go above immeasurable lengths to avoid these kind of situations. Let me explain what happened yesterday...

"My girlfriend called me at work and asked me if I wanted to go her sister's house for dinner. Easter is a religious holiday and god knows I hate religion but instead of constantly disappointing her, I accepted this invite. On the way there she told me her mom will be there and I immediately began plotting an escape. It's not that I hate her mother it's just that her mother is fucking annoying (along with some of other family members) especially to my condition. Knowing my history of impulsive jail breaks, she gave me the pep talk in the car about how I'm not bailing this time -- nor will I have a panic attack. Shit, I had a panic attack once we got out the car. I told her once we go in here give me somewhere to sit where nobody will notice me. So we're in there and I'm standing in front of everybody for 10 minutes like the fool who accepted the invite. Now I'm a dart board for scrutiny and satire and all of the sudden I feel like a bully victim. I'm not slinging mud back because honestly I don't give a fuck about being there and I'm lowkey screaming on the inside. The small talk, the closed space and lack of room to breathe, the people! triggered Agoraphobia. Once this transpired, I astutely made a way to the door. Found myself sitting in the car for 2 and a half hours."

Hi, my name is Cion and I suffer from Agoraphobia. When I did my research on it, it didn't make me feel abnormal anymore. According to Wikipedia, Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder characterized by anxiety in situations where it is perceived to be difficult or embarrassing to escape. Symptoms include:

•  Fear of losing control in public
•  Inability to leave your house for long periods (house bound)
•  Fear of being alone
•  Fear of being in a crowded area
•  Feel completely dependent on others
•  A sense of unreality
•  A sense of helplessness
•  Fear of places that are hard to escape

I'm not a big wacko as it may seem, I only fall into a few of those symptoms. Mainly the fear of places that are hard to escape. When I'm out of my comfort zone, I begin panicking. I race to the nearest transportation to the best of my ability and get home. Some of these people can't even leave their homes but that's partially the case here. I don't go out as often as the average 22 year old, but when I'm invited to a get-to-together I'm always up for it. There are places where you might not find me like a club (especially the black ones). Anxiety always come in the play because I'm surrounded by a bunch of hoods, gangsters, playboys, whores and hoodrats and I'm nowhere remotely close to similar. The paranoia is also a factor because every time I ever went to a club, somebody was either fighting or got shot. I haven't been to a club in 4 years. 

This phobia triggers the most when I'm with my girlfriend and she usually catches the fire because she's always in my way when I'm escaping. I have an out of body experience or depersonalization and everything becomes out of control. I yell at her because I'm panicking and she's blamed for all of the awkward and uncomfortable moments that occur because she wasn't sticking up for me slash "babysitting" my grown ass. It's 98% my fault but sometimes I just wish she wouldn't feed me to the wolves without protection. I would never do that to her.

Chronophobia

I'm not sure if this is a real phobia but anything before Anatidaephonia (fear the you are being watched by a duck) shouldn't be contested until that one is. Chronophobia is the fear of time or the passing of time as you see in the image. I like to call it, the fear of wasting time. Wasting time is not the same meaning as Webster's or the general public to me. Wasting time is just doing something I'm completely disinterested in but compelled to do so. This normally doesn't involve making money or benefiting me so I rarely feel this when I have to go to work. It happens the most when I'm obligated to shop with a woman. The anxiety is unreal. I get annoyed because I could be at home doing absolutely nothing in my free time. I get the same kind of panic attacks I get with Agoraphobia because I believe these two symptoms are linked in a way. This is also the reason for my impatience and why I move in a faster pace than my peers. 

Social Anxiety

I also have a social disorder which I haven't essentially diagnosed myself with yet lol. I just call it "social anxiety". I always thought it was because I was shy but I'm not. I'm a very outspoken person but only around my comfort zone. I guess that falls into a category of shy but not really. Shy people can talk on the phone, I can't. I think maybe it's because it's a waste of time who knows. I like being the leader but I hate being the center of attention. I am not incapable of doing these things it's just I'd rather not put myself into these situations. 

No I am not diagnosed by a doctor -- these are merely rationalized opinions of my behavior. I don't know how this started and I can't remember the first time I felt this Chronophobia because it's so normal to me now. I do know that I was always inpatient and my reasoning for that before was because I always had to wait for something to happen and it rarely came through. All of the constant disappointments lead to pessimism. My earliest memory of a severe case of Agoraphobia was prom night and I'd rather not get into details. Social anxiety always effected me because I never let anybody know the real me knowing my nerd ass wouldn't be accepted into society. Now that I don't pretend to somebody else, it's hard to make new friends and chat with the old ones. So really, I'm kind of stuck in the middle of nothing. 

I don't know I think I will shutup now. Thanks for reading. 

 

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